The Engaged Feedback Checklist

Toolbox
Written By collaboratio helvetica

Any collaboration has its ups and downs and, if we are paying attention, offers an abundance of learning opportunities for all involved. Even when all are trained in collaboration tools, such as Sociocracy 3.0, and have developed key skills, such as self-awareness and listening, things are bound to go awry at some point. 

There is much we can learn to avoid some of the typical mistakes or issues, and collaboratio helvetica offers lots of tools and learning spaces for that, but tensions are part of a collaborative environment. However, there is a difference between being able to navigate tensions constructively and learn from the situation, and it escalating to a full blown conflict or fall-out. Clear communication and the ability to give feedback can help steer towards the first option.

There are many tools to give feedback, and how to do it. I personally would not recommend methods such as the sandwich method, which involves “packaging” a critical point in-between two compliments. Indeed, such approaches can water down the feedback you really wish to give and not necessarily be helpful to have the other person understand what you really wanted to get across.

However, regardless of the feedback strategy you choose, your internal condition upon entering the conversation makes all the difference. To prepare and make sure we are in the right state of mind before the feedback is delivered is a key step. Brené Brown, in her usual brilliance, has designed an Engaged Feedback Checklist. It includes 10 points to check in with yourself to know whether you are ready to give constructive feedback. 

The engaged feedback checklist by Brené Brown

I know that I’m ready to give feedback when …

  • I’m ready to sit next to you rather than across from you.

  • I’m willing to put the problem in front of us rather than between us (or sliding it toward you).

  • I’m ready to listen, ask questions, and accept that I may not fully understand the issue.

  • I’m ready to acknowledge what you do well instead of picking apart your mistakes. 

  • I recognize your strengths and how you can use them to address your challenges. 

  • I can hold you accountable without shaming or blaming.

  • I am open to owning my part. 

  • I can genuinely thank someone for their efforts rather than criticize them for their failings.

  • I can talk about how resolving these challenges will lead to growth and opportunity.

  • I can model the vulnerability and openness that I expect to see from you.

I hope this tool supports you in delivering and receiving feedback in a better way, and helps bring growth and trust into your collaborations.

Further literature to the topic

Nora Wilhelm is the Co-Founder and Catalyst of collaboratio helvetica. She has a background in youth engagement and active citizenship (European Youth Parliament) and specialised in collaboration, self-organisation, ecosystem leadership, systemic change and social innovation. Beyond facilitating multi-stakeholder processes and social innovation labs as well as promoting the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs), she is a renowned young leader, advocate and speaker, recognised for her work by the Swiss government, UNESCO, Forbes 30 under 30 and other institutions.

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